Undocumented for several months now, I need to reconnect with my blog. I’m reaching the end of my pregnancy (37 weeks today!) and God is helping me to quietly process the logistical, relational and spiritual challenges we’ve experienced the last four months. We’re being re-directed in ministry after laying down a great dream and an unexpected move came up with extenuating circumstances, all while I’m in my third trimester, homeschooling the kids, and pioneering the first Classical Conversations community in South Africa.
Some of these challenges are old ones. Yet I’ve learned something key regarding tests. I used to refer to tests from the Lord as pass/fail…and if you don’t pass it, it will come around again, bringing on a sense of failure. God revealed to me that when he is trying to teach us something, he will do so through many means. And the important lessons are usually repeated! If I can summarise what I’ve learned:
If I don’t hold on too tightly to my own plans, it won’t hurt so much when God changes them.
We are continually called to love each other deeply from the heart. This is not easy.
God does ask us to walk through things too much for us to handle. How else could his power be made perfect in our weakness?
I am grateful for my husband’s initiative to start our family studying the book of Proverbs as this has been a well of life, insight, and direction through our circumstances. I am thankful for the muscles of faith developed in Gert and I, and our children, as we pray for another new house and prepare for another move. I am floored by the avenues of blessing towards this unborn baby. We did not foresee reaching the threshold of six children and yet the prayers, vision, prophetic words, and material provision has exceeded any other pregnancy. I feel that because we said yes to God for what in our minds is an extreme step of faith, he is releasing a new store of blessing to us. I feel entirely overwhelmed that we will be parenting an almost-teenager all the way down to toddler and newborn. Yet I know the grace of God will be with us as we walk through the unique needs of each child. We are sustained.
This blog post feels rough and clumsy, uncertain but moving towards confidence. Much like how I feel as we make decisions about where and how this baby will be born and where we will live. I am excited about new possibilities and leading towards a midwife and home birth and peering around the corner at the possibility of buying a house.
Thank you to Susie Squirrell and Hans-Christian Harder for these great pics of our kids! 🙂