I’m writing this in faith, because nothing in our schedule seems to have changed yet. Thirteen months ago, my husband and I decidedly walked into a challenging season. Knowing it would be difficult, aware of the sacrifice. Sometimes you can take a leap of faith by closing your eyes and jumping. This time, however, that didn’t work. It was more like climbing a rock wall, foothold by foothold, short measured movements. Pausing to rest in between footholds but not really able to rest, because you are clinging to the side of a cliff, holding on with your fingers and toes. I remember telling my husband, ‘Its now or never,’ when the opportunity was before him to continue his education in emergency medicine.
We’ve been through many ups and downs this year, although I remember more downs than ups. By nature I am not an over the top exuberant, optimistic person. That would be my husband. I relate more to suffering producing perseverance. And perseverance producing character. Character producing hope. The key is rejoicing in all of this! The rejoicing has come in the times where God shows himself strong and mighty. Unyielding in his steadfast love. It has held me in place this year. So many days of feeling overwhelmed. Feeling alone while raising 4 kids, trying to keep communication lines open and clear with my husband when I see him twice a week.
Class is complete, all 32 credits. Clinicals are done. All 250 hours of them. Calls are completed. All 50 of them. Testing is the last hurdle. Then we’ll celebrate.
I am expecting the One who changes times and seasons to release us into a new season. For me, this year has been about investing in my husband. We love him so much. His hard work and diligence will reward him. I have not once heard him complain this year. His one difficulty: seeing me suffer! God got us through this year. He did not make it easy or quick like I prayed. Ha! Kind of like childbirth. But he blesses through it…and trust me, he knows how to give good gifts.
My longing is for time. Time with my love. Time with our beautiful church body. Time with our children, who are growing up lightning fast. Time to invest in the kingdom, into our calling to make disciples. My heart will be in recovery for a while. I need a couple of months of regular date nights, a hair cut, a few miles on the pavement with my running shoes, and the kids to stop asking if ‘Daddy is coming over for a visit’ to fully recover.
God is good to us. A longing fulfilled is a tree of life. He will reward those who earnestly seek him. That is the True Great Challenge.